Kirk

Kirk's middle-aged landlady sympathizes with her tenant but has no intention of helping Kirk, while his gorgeous neighbor, third-year medical student Elizabeth Waters, prefers to ignore Kirk's romantic advances in favor of her medical books. Extricating himself from the scheming antics of his pal, Eddie Balducci, Kirk gamely struggles to find time for his own life.

In an effort to prove that he can attend to all of the needs of his brothers and sisters, Kirk buys Phoebe her first brassiere. When he presents it to her with her siblings and friends watching, she is extremely embarrassed. Phoebe plans on moving in with Elizabeth, but Kirk desperately tries to get her to forgive him. He tells her some embarrassing things about himself, such as knowing all of the words to the theme song for the television show Full House. Phoebe plots her revenge with this knowledge.

Kirk decides not to make Corey baby-sit for his younger siblings because Corey has a special homework assignment. But with no one to care for them, Kirk is forced to bring Russell and Phoebe with him on his first date in New York City. The kids get tickets for a children's movie next door to the movie theater where Kirk and his date are. While trying to watch the movie with his date, Kirk sees Corey at the same movie with a date. Angry that Corey's not studying, Kirk insists Corey go to the other theater to watch his siblings. Unfortunately, Corey cannot find the kids and interrupts Kirk. They finally realize that Phoebe and Russell have sneaked into the movie where the adults are.

Eddie entices Kirk to help him sneak into a party where Eddie hopes to interest a wealthy investor in his latest invention -- a belt made out of cured meat. Kirk agrees to help because Elizabeth will be there. However, Kirk's romantic hopes are ruined when he sees Elizabeth at the party with an older man. Kirk is angry because Elizabeth told him that she doesn't want to date anyone right now. Kirk returns home to Phoebe, who is baby-sitting Russell for the first time. Unfortunately, Russell's feet got stuck in the couch when he was jumping on it, and Sally had to help free him. However, Sally keeps what happened a secret. Finally, Kirk confronts Elizabeth about her date. Elizabeth tells Kirk that the man with whom he saw her was her boss, whose wife was also at the party. However, Elizabeth still doesn't agree to go on a date with Kirk.

Kirk wants to enter his cartoon drawings in a comic book contest. To finish the work before the deadline, he needs the kids to be quiet and leave him alone. Russell feels neglected when his well-intentioned attempts to help are unappreciated by Kirk. The night before Kirk's drawings are due, Russell accidentally vomits on them. Kirk struggles with his emotions over the lost opportunity and his concern for Russell's feelings.

Corey's good grades land him in an exclusive school for the gifted. Phoebe gets jealous, and then suspicious after Corey tests higher than she does on an aptitude test. Kirk's enthusiasm over Corey's scores convinces him to attend an open house at the same school that's just rejected Phoebe. Even though Phoebe learns the truth about Corey's high scores, she decides to get even by remaining silent and letting Corey battle his wits with the other students at the gifted school.