The Girl's Guide to Depravity

Best friends Lizzie and Sam share a drink at their neighborhood dive bar. Sam is nervous: it's her third date with nice guy, Brad. And everyone knows about the the third date -- the sex date. Lizzie scolds her for not having had sex already, which is a violation of the rules passed down to them by their recently married friend, Sienna. Sam acts on Lizzie's advice and seduces Brad, only to have him dump her immediately after their encounter when his girlfriend texts him that she wants him back. Lizzie insists that Sam "get underneath another man" right away, and the two friends go prowling at an upscale club. Lizzie focuses on getting someone to buy them top-shelf drinks, while Sam makes the acquaintance of Jason, who turns out to be Lizzie's new co-worker. Lizzie breaks it up, saying that Jason is too clingy and moves on to her own quest -- the sexy, casually dressed guy sitting at the bar, reading a book. Lizzie's initial encounter with this man she dubs "Dirty Hot Guy" begins hot and flirty but ends in mutual insults. And when -- adding insult to injury -- her ex, Drew, comes in with another girl, Lizzie is determined not to let it get to her. She and Sam cruise a jiu-jitsu studio, but get little more than hot and sweaty. Afterwards, Lizzie encounters the Dirty Hot Guy in the dive bar and takes him home for sex. Sam learns that her current major crush, Richard, will be at the R Bar; she and Lizzie make a beeline for the place, hoping for a "chance" encounter.

Sam starts stalking Richard and waits outside his apartment house so she can bump into him when he comes home. He's with his neighbor, Morgan, so Sam declines his offer to come inside. Lizzie scolds Sam for not accepting the invitation and outlasting Morgan, a violation of the "last woman standing" rule. Sam follows Richard on twitter and crashes a fantasy football party to be near him but Richard ends up leaving the party while Sam is in the bathroom. Meanwhile, Lizzie and Jason handle a sexual harassment case for Kyra, who was fired from a cupcake store when she refused sexual advances from her supervisor. Lizzie goes undercover, but can't get supervisor, Jessie, to come on to her, no matter how she flirts. Finally, she corners him in the back room and seduces him. She tells Kyra that she couldn't get the goods on her tormentor, only to learn that Kyra was harassed by Johnnie, the boss's son. Lizzie goes back to the cupcake store to get evidence against Johnnie, leaving Sam at the dive bar with Richard and Morgan. Sam out-drinks Morgan, who passes out; she takes Richard home with her, but he is too drunk to get it up and just falls asleep.

Richard cancels a date with Sam, who complains to Lizzie that she's tired of the game men and women play with one another. Lizzie suggests they find a place where the guys don't know the rules, and settles on a Mexican place on college night. The girls pick up Stevie and Len, business/finance majors, and go back to their place. Lizzie and Len have sex, but Stevie is so excited he comes before Sam can even get him undressed. In the morning, the girls discover that Len and Stevie are both just barely legal and living at home -- they graduated from the "University" prep school. Meanwhile, Jason is romancing Nicole, a marine botanist who picked him up with a candid line at the farmers' market. Thanks to Lizzie, he has some doubts about her sincerity, but Nicole's directness wins him over. He goes out with her and they end the night with an energetic sexual workout. In the morning, Nicole leaves, promising to call Jason. A few days later, he bumps into Lizzie and Sam at the farmers' market. They see Nicole using the same "candid" line on another guy, and Jason realizes that Lizzie was right -- fake sincerity is Nicole's game. Jason and the girls adjourn to a nearby joint to drown their sorrows.

Richard cancels a date with Sam, who complains to Lizzie that she's tired of the game men and women play with one another. Lizzie suggests they find a place where the guys don't know the rules, and settles on a Mexican place on college night. The girls pick up Stevie and Len, business/finance majors, and go back to their place. Lizzie and Len have sex, but Stevie is so excited he comes before Sam can even get him undressed. In the morning, the girls discover that Len and Stevie are both just barely legal and living at home -- they graduated from the "University" prep school. Meanwhile, Jason is romancing Nicole, a marine botanist who picked him up with a candid line at the farmers' market. Thanks to Lizzie, he has some doubts about her sincerity, but Nicole's directness wins him over. He goes out with her and they end the night with an energetic sexual workout. In the morning, Nicole leaves, promising to call Jason. A few days later, he bumps into Lizzie and Sam at the farmers' market. They see Nicole using the same "candid" line on another guy, and Jason realizes that Lizzie was right -- fake sincerity is Nicole's game. Jason and the girls adjourn to a nearby joint to drown their sorrows.

Lizzie and Sam are at the dive bar when the bitchy Mariposa sidles up beside them and intimidates Jason into buying her a drink. Afterwards, Lizzie and Sam overhear Mariposa on the phone and realize that Latin spitfire is just an assumed persona for Mildred, an ordinary girl who has learned how to channel her inner b**ch to get what she wants. The three women chat over coffee. Lizzie and Mariposa are both attracted to the same cute Waiter, and a challenge goes out – let the biggest b**ch win. Sam channels her inner b**ch with bike messenger Ryan and gets him to go home with her. They have wild, primal sex, but his interest fades in the morning when Sam inadvertently reverts to her nice girl self. Lizzie and Mariposa compete for the Waiter, but Lizzie can’t beat the master and Mariposa waltzes away with the prize. Later, a the dive bar, a Voluptuous Woman b**chily refuses to say where she bought her dress, so Lizzie cuts the label out of her garment. The dress is from a plus size shop - the Woman was embarrassed about shopping there. Lizzie feels guilty about her brazen behavior and apologizes. Sam goes home, and a deflated Lizzie stays at the dive bar. The Dirty Hot Guy sits down next to her, offers companionable silence, and buys her a drink.

Lizzie and Sam see a plain woman with a handsome younger man and wonder how she holds his attention. Someone suggests she has a "magic p**sy," something no one can define. Lizzie is determined to unravel the mystery. First, she and Sam attend a tantric yoga class, but are tossed out when they start laughing. The girls are talking things over when Cheyenne, Tyler's sub at the bar, volunteers that she once had a magic p**sy -- until she had a baby. Next, the girls try a special steam treatment for their nether regions at a Korean spa, but are horrified when they learn it's a fertility treatment. Two days later, they still don't have an answer to their question. Tyler, who is gay, suggests that maybe it's really a magic mouth, and tells them about the most popular girl in his year at the University of Illinois. The Dirty Hot Guy comes in and Lizzie ambles over to talk to him. He tells her he knows the secret to a magic p**sy -- it's confidence. Just then, his date arrives -- an older woman who exudes confidence and is not threatened to see him with Lizzie. Later, Lizzie tells Sam that she misses Drew, her ex, and wonders if he's happy with his pretty younger girlfriend.