Doofenshmirtz's Daily Dirt

The interwebs are full of useless acronyms. I mean "LOL" ? Really? Well, ol' Doofy has a few brilliant ideas for some REALLY GOOD ones that EVERYONE should be using. Seriously, by next week I want to see #RIHNIHTWGIMHF trending on Twitter.

The internet is full of cats. I'm not sure why. I'm also not sure why they insist on terrible grammar and spelling practices, but I'm convinced that it is bad for the children of America. LISTEN UP SHEEPLE, IT'S TIME TO STAND UP TO THE INTERNET CAT CONSPIRACY.

I've got a bone to pick with Carly Rae Jepsen and her endlessly catchy song "Call Me Maybe." I mean, everyone likes the song, okay, but has anyone actually ever stopped to REALLY THINK about the lyrics? No? Sounds like a job for Doof!

I have just one question for One Direction: what came first, the band name or the hair style? Seriously, I'm looking at you Harry Styles...

Hey guys, has anyone heard of this awesome song OPEN QUANTUM STYLE? I think it's going to be a hit!!! Some people insist it's spelled "Gangnam Style" but I'm pretty sure they are totally wrong.

There are two things people are obsessed with that I don't understand: bacon and Honey Boo Boo. OK, well I understand the bacon...