South Park

While the boys are waiting for the school bus, Cartman explains the odd nightmare he had the previous night involving alien visitors abducting him from his bed. Meanwhile Kyle and Stan try to convince Cartman that the dream was in fact a reality.

The boys get together with Stan's Uncle Jimbo and Jimbo's war-buddy Ned for a hunting trip in the nearby mountains. After Cartman's mom makes sure her "little" boy is safe and sound (much to Cartman's dismay) the group heads off for adventure. As they drive away from the town, Jimbo explains the "finer" points of hunting.

Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remember what he wrote about.

Stan's got a new dog named Sparky. Stan proclaims his pet to be the toughest dog on the mountain. Though while Stan thinks his dog is ready for fighting, Sparky proceeds to hump Sylvester like a little bitch. The other boys taunt Stan about his gay dog and Sparky runs away to find someone who will love him for who he is.

Stan notices a new addition in their bus stop crew, an elephant standing alongside Kyle. At school, class lessons for the day involve genetic engineering (conveniently enough). Kyle questions the possibility of a genetically engineered elephant made smaller by design. The boys have to beat the rough kids in their genetics experiment, and will try anything to do it.

"Happy Birthday" to Stan's Grandpa Marsh who just turned 102. How does the wizened Mr. Marsh feel about his birthday? He sums it up in five words; "I wish I were dead" and proceeds trying to end his life enlisting Stan to do it for him. However, Stan is aware of a very important thing if he kills his grandfather, he'd be in trouble, and if he's in trouble he can't watch Terrance and Phillip.